The Darkness of Death

As I sit here and ponder on the death of a sister, I am left with plentiful memories that scales out the darkness that lingers. Holding on to the good times because bad ones are extremely limited.

She left behind a son and a daughter who continue to exude her bright light, although her daughter is still young and doesn’t quite understand fully, her son is aware but still finds ways to persevere. At times I see the pain in his eyes as he stares at the pictures of his mother mounted on the walls. His Teddy he holds close so at any moment he can press really hard and be accompanied by the sweet sound of her beating heart.

I’m here reminiscing on the days I would express my want for children, how I want to become a mother and see what my children will mirror. She said to me “you can take one of mine”, in a serious but joking manner and now I’m here realizing that God had a much bigger plan all along. Although she will forever be their mother, I am left here to carry out her duties and care for her children. The big cousin, more like aunt, their Nana will see it through; leading the way for them to enjoy the fruits of this here earth too. Protecting them in the physical while she works her magic in the spiritual.

Healing is an on going journey that never truly stops, for when you are graced with a love which is unconditional but lost that to an illness so vicious, you will be left navigating through the pain for all the rest of your days. Perhaps it is a beautiful journey, you learn yourself inside and out, so long as you intentionally lean on the positive side of the spectrum while analyzing the bad parts of life, one’s trauma, that is when you’ll encounter different ways of healing to see the light in a scope through the darkness of death.

Although times get tough, remember to live in each moment because tomorrow is never promised and we all know it. To my sister Shanee Vailes, you will forever be missed, you live on through your kids, your presence is always felt as you left an hefty imprint on this earth and all those who had the pleasure of knowing you. Forever in our hearts, I’ll find my way back to you through The Darkness of Death.