Pop out my sleep, covered in sweat.

Shaken up in my tangled thoughts, can I still feel pain 25 years later?

Heart aching, brain throbbing, my body got the shakes; for a man I never met whom holds a huge part of me.

Fifty percent to be precise. How can I feel this amount of pain, short of breath, I’m still not fully awake yet. I cannot eat, cannot sleep, these thoughts racing like the olympics going lap for lap in me head. Barely hitting the surface, bouncing within my skull. Can you feel me? Do you understand? What it’s like to wake up crying yourself back to bed, hoping you can just see him in your dreams and stay there for a while. Finally catch up on life and meet your maker face to face just one time, hold his hand and crack jokes till the sun comes up. Dance and share stories of his 90’s verses my 2000’s, to see myself in him and he see’s a ton of him in me, his mini, his twin. Oh, what a sight to see; than

BANG!

Bursting out of my sleep, gasping for air with tears rolling down my cheeks. Why did a coward have to steal my father away from me…

I write every Friday, in hopes that you’ll see, the pain you’ve placed upon me, than

BANG!

Twenty Five 2 life, the cycle repeats.

2 thoughts on “Twenty Five 2 Life

  1. I understand Your pain. A pain that can never go away. I have A sister I have not seen since I was 8 (now 25). My dad pays child support but doesn’t go out of his way to try to meet nor build a relationship with her. Due to that, I cant Build a relationship ship with her. I found Her on fb and wrote her and came to the realization just now that she never wrote back. I still Feel pain cause I have A sister that I don’t Even know but me writing her gave me closure in a way. I reached out and did all I can Do. I wash my hands of it today.

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    1. It’s a copping game, find a way to cope with these emotions you feel because they will always remain. As long as you tried, that’s all that matters. One day she may come around, you never know the emotions she may feel behind this which may cause her to remain distant or not know what to do. 💔🤞🏽

      Like

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