Pop out my sleep, covered in sweat.
Shaken up in my tangled thoughts, can I still feel pain 25 years later?
Heart aching, brain throbbing, my body got the shakes; for a man I never met whom holds a huge part of me.
Fifty percent to be precise. How can I feel this amount of pain, short of breath, I’m still not fully awake yet. I cannot eat, cannot sleep, these thoughts racing like the olympics going lap for lap in me head. Barely hitting the surface, bouncing within my skull. Can you feel me? Do you understand? What it’s like to wake up crying yourself back to bed, hoping you can just see him in your dreams and stay there for a while. Finally catch up on life and meet your maker face to face just one time, hold his hand and crack jokes till the sun comes up. Dance and share stories of his 90’s verses my 2000’s, to see myself in him and he see’s a ton of him in me, his mini, his twin. Oh, what a sight to see; than
Bursting out of my sleep, gasping for air with tears rolling down my cheeks. Why did a coward have to steal my father away from me…
I write every Friday, in hopes that you’ll see, the pain you’ve placed upon me, than
Twenty Five 2 life, the cycle repeats.