Fatherless

In honor of Fatherless Friday, I’m up early and at em.

Though there are a bundle of emotions I experience daily in the absence of my father, I am determined to connect to him. Let me explain.

All signs lead to meditation practice, spiritual alignment and a belief of a higher power. There’s a lot to learned so you’ll have to stay the course to watch it all unfold. Prayer, practice and patience is key. Self-education, research and books are essential. Specific to me, becoming comfortable with being placed in uncomfortable situations is the task at hand. Let me break that down for you.

Being a strong, vocal black woman dealing with never meeting her father is a task in and of itself. Constantly bottling up my emotions and shutting down, lack of trust in others and fear of failure is what holds me back. I must overcome those obstacles to excel spiritually. Once upon a time I was free of fear, judgement and expression. There wasn’t a thing I would not say, do or project. I was comfortable with myself enough to not care about anyone’s opinion. Lets just say life got to me and I’ve noticed I actually do care how I’m perceived.

All too often I tell myself I can careless, that’s a lie because I feel the shift in my energy. It is NOW, as I write that I notice I only care because I am not living in my truth, I am not living solely for myself but I am trying to fit into a society I never understood too much. That all ends here, tapping back into spirituality not the way others see it, the way I’ve always believed it to be. I know there is a higher power, I know energy is real, I know my intuition is powerful, I know I once was overwhelmed and asked for the spiritual powers to leave me. I am older now, I am more aware, I am open to recovering the power of being free and living in my TRUTH.

On this bright cool Fatherless Friday I come to you with my focus at the forefront, despite the fluctuating emotions of anger, pain, emptiness and yearning. Connecting deeply beyond the divine gateway, I am starting on the journey I believe to be my fate.